Days in the Life of Spencer: August 2014

THE PROS AND CONS OF TURNING THE BIG 4-0

OR AT LEAST IN SOME CASES IT DOES…

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To my favorite math genius. Happy 40^th birthday Tanuja, and just know that no matter how many cons there are to getting older and no matter what is said in this little gift I put together , even though you’re 40, you’re still fine as wine!!! Hahaha

Love,

21 year old Spencer

"You are never too old to set a new goal or to dream a new dream."

-C.S. Lewis

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Let’s start with the CONS, SHALL WE?

PART ONE: CONS

“40 ISN’T OLD…IF YOU’RE A TREE.”

1. YOU WILL ACTUALLY START TO NOT LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR BIRTHDAYS AFTER THIS.

Why? Well it’s very simple. With each birthday comes a new age. But in your case you just won’t turn older, you’ll look older too!!! It only goes downhill from here. Sadly your 39^th birthday was your last real hoorah. You’re half of 80 now, and that’s not something to be proud of…let’s face it.

2. IT’S HIGHLY LIKELY THAT MOST PEOPLE YOU MEET NOW WILL BE YOUNGER THAN YOU

You will meet people who are younger than you and you will instantly start thinking about how you were at that age and you will feel even worse because they’re young and well… you’re not.

So you’ll just be like

3. WHEN YOU’RE IN THE CLASSROOM TEACHING YOU’LL START TO NOTICE YOU’RE COPYING DOWN THOSE MATH PROBLEMS WRONG MUCH MORE FREQUENTLY

Don’t be alarmed if you start hearing students talking about how Mrs. Murray is no longer on top of her game. Just tell them you’re getting older and you tend to forget things sometimes. Even the easiest of math problems just might trip you up.

4. YOU PROBABLY WILL NO LONGER BE ABLE TO ROCK A BIKINI… JUST SAYIN’

If you’re thinking about hitting the beach in a two-piece, DON’T! When you turn 40 your body starts to do weird things and you end up seeing stuff in places you never would have imagined.

So to save you from yourself, you should probably go with something more like this

By the way, I heard this was on sale :))

5. YOU WILL LOOK AT PHOTOS FROM WHEN YOU WERE 39 AND YOU’LL BE LIKE DAMN I LOOKED SO GOOD BACK THEN AND YOU’LL GET EVEN MORE DEPRESSED POSSIBLY SINK REALLY LOW AND NEXT THING YOU KNOW YOU’RE 50

Gotta grow old at some point.

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Whew! How depressing right!? But don’t feel defeated. How about some PROS to finish this out?

PART TWO: PROS

“I’m not 40, I’m 18 years with 22 years of experience.”

1. YOUR CONFIDENCE WILL START TO GROW

With older age comes more confidence. I’m certain of it! You’ll have this certain glow to you that all will start to see.

You will feel wiser and when you grade tests you’ll just be like

Except you’ll hold the pen in your right hand because you’re right-handed

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

- Bernard M. Baruch

2. You won't be carded when you buy or order wine.

Just think of how annoying it can be to always be pulling out your ID when you want a glass to drink. Since you’re older you can just go up to the cashier, place your Merlot on the counter and not get that weird stare. Or when you go to restaurants and ask for Riesling, you’ll tell yourself:

Yeah I’m 40 no ID necessary.